Hey there, I love wolves, so I came across your story! =D I find this story pretty okay, actually, just that there are a few things here and there that I want to state. ^_^

First off, I noticed that the story started with past tense, then suddenly switched to present tense with a few sentences in the middle. That's a bit odd, isn't it? ^^; You should stick to either present tense or past tense all the way through, otherwise it seems odd. ^^;

Next, I noticed there are quite a bit of short sentences. I mean, it's not like short sentences make a story seem horrible or anything, it's just that I find it rather... "unsmooth" that way. ^^; For example:

-I turn and look. More ghouls and zombies are storming down the hallway toward my position. They look bigger, and meaner. But the main thing I notice is a red glow from the end turn of that hallway. She must be there.-

Instead of that, consider:-I turn and look, growling as I see more ghouls and zombies storming towards me. They look bigger, meaner, but the thing that caught my eye is the red glow coming from the end of the hallway. She must be there.-

There, does it look better? I'm just stating an example, it doesn't necessarily mean that I'm a better writer. ^^; Though because of the short sentences, I can't exactly feel the emotions in the story. And... I think you forgot to put a page break between the dream and the part where Jalor woke up? ^^; I think you should put something like - or some horizontal line at least, so that people won't go "Huh?" like I did for a moment earlier. ^^;

But other than that, I think that this story is pretty okay. ^_^ But with more practice, you'd be better, maybe better than me! =D I wish you luck! =D

~Blue Dragon-sy, who had just finished writing Shadow Claw! =D

"Time waits for no one, not even its Guardian." -Skye, in Shadow Claw Chapter 34.