|Reviews for Puddles|
| a silenced revolution 3/28/07 . chapter 1
Good use of metaphor, I like it. Keep writing.
| A. J. Weyler 4/18/06 . chapter 1
Huh. Short. Very thought-provoking. Good job.
| Smoky Bear 1/25/06 . chapter 1
aw, that's touching.
| Moondog Dozier 12/8/05 . chapter 1
Speaks more than the few words written. The simplicity of this makes the greatest statement of the true magnitude of the words. If this was longer it would not convey as much meaning. Good work.
| Niniel Uskglass 11/23/05 . chapter 1
I like this. The metaphor of it is constructed very nicely.
| wantedINheaven 11/13/05 . chapter 1
Yeah, it doesn't just rain. I always let myself go when I walk in the rain. It's almost like the only time I cry is when the rain falls down around me.
This is short and simple, but it works like that. I like it.
| angie3838 10/21/05 . chapter 1
This is good. It's short and sweet. My suggestions are to maybe play with punctuation and placement on the page: don't capitalize the beginning of every line, and don't end it with a period. Maybe you could write it in a circle, like an actual puddle; although then you wouldn't be able to upload it here, or else it would be very tricky.
"Misery" has its own impersonation here, and it seems very human to me. Also, perhaps instead of "a little girl" you could be a little more specific? You could try to show us why she's crying so hard by descriptions of her. I pictured her sitting on the curb of a street, all alone, in the rain, with her tears mixing with the gasoline puddles in front of her.
| l337 r0cX3r 10/20/05 . chapter 1
Hm, don't quite know what to say. I liked it, and I got a good visual, but what i got, probably isn't what you intended on. i just finished writing another script and putting it on here, and a little girl's mom died in it. i just got a visual of my little girl when reading this. Anyhow, very nice.
| les petits bateaux 10/15/05 . chapter 1
Wow...this is so poignant. Beautifully written.
| Prevaricate 10/14/05 . chapter 1
Pretty. Not phenomenal as far as originality is concerned, but it's well-written.
| ronshaberry 10/14/05 . chapter 1
Aw, I like it. Great idea, as always, and you always put in just the right words. Good job! _x
The straw umbrella worked very well, thanks for the suggestion. (Haha.)
| lronMaiden 10/14/05 . chapter 1
short, but it staid with me, great job.
| simpletonsgrin 10/13/05 . chapter 1
I wasn't expecting it to be as good as it is- but there you go!
It doesn't scream out at you, but theres this wonderful sense of "this is just how it is."
keep it up.
| Princess-anna57 10/13/05 . chapter 1
Short and sad! Aww! Very effective. Well done and write on!