this was very good, I love the form you wrote it in it adds a nother layer and flavor to it all and its very powerful keep up the good work.

wow. that was really well done. I never thought of writing a story in poems like that, it's really interesting way to write though. You really showed emotion well through the poems. Great job writing this.

really nice, and well written! i never did get the hang of writing haikus XD

You captured the love that is present in this relationship so beautifully. Wonderful work.

oh my. fantastic. you really pulled me in, i HAD to keep reading. i love the last few lines... really, a great job on this one. ::adds to favorites list:: ~Mariah

I almost began to cry, simply because of the images you created in my head. I want a boy like Paul (only a straight one) and I want to do with him what Michael does in this story/poem - I don't know what to call it because it is a mix between both.

This is the second time I read it - the first time I read it too fast and thus didn't think much of it. Now I read it slowly and gave myself time to see the images. Now I see how wonderful it actually is, and I see what you've wanted to show.

By God, I so much want a boy like Paul.

That was a beautiful, cliche-free way to write about sex. I loved it! Feel free to write more anytime you wish ;)

Uhh... I don't know. I thought it was really cute and romantic though. Haha.I feel kind of awkward saying that. Since it's... two guys? But whatever. I've an open mind.

But it's really good. But there's a part where you say Pete and I think you meant to say Paul. Because... there is no Pete. At least to my knowledge...

aw! so cute! i just can't get over these guys!

Loved it. There is such a feeling of passion and calm that arises from it. A non-conventional way to describe sex, but it seems sensual, relaxed and peaceful. It flows nicely. Yep, beautiful piece.