FictionPress.com - let the words flow
| FictionPress.com - let the words flow |
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| rightblinkleft 2005-10-17 ch 1,  | abuseew oh goshh i didnt see that coming...my golly my goshes...fourty one |
| BreakTheRules4EVA 2005-10-17 ch 1, | abuseVery funy! I hope it's not a personal expierence, that would be really sick! Was funny though. |
| Roth Jopalse Sammuels 2005-10-16 ch 1, | abuseI'm not hip with all the slang, but can a man be a ho? Hmm...I can say this rhymes well. I don't particularly like the theme though. Perhaps it's supposed to be funny in a disturbing way, but it's too short to be taken like a black comedy. I also don't care much for slang, and absolutely despise it in poetry unless the poem is meant to be humorous, making fun of the language rather than using it. It's just too easy to rhyme when you make up words, it's the reason that I hate rap (no offense if you or anyone else likes it). Fortunately, you only use it in the first couple lines, but still try to avoid it. Just my two cents there. Keep writing though, I'm going to check out some more of your stuff to see more of what your style is. |
| parasitic pathos 2005-10-16 ch 1, | abuse...ew... Thank god it wasnt a personal experience...hehehe jk jk...anyway. I thought it was pretty cute. Good job... Matt |