Great idea trying to restate some favorite bible stories, perhaps if you do this enough, it will help encourage children to read the bible, simply because it's rewritten in a creative form that is still easy to read. Keep writing, I can't wait to see your other work. God bless, Katja.

I think that this is a good retelling, but your "The leaders and the soldiers / Could do nothing but pray" didn't happen and that was the problem. They were all relying on their own strength and so nothing was happening.

*clap*

I liked how you kept this a story, but knid of retraced it through poetry form. Well done, keep up the good work.

Much love,Juliet.