I love the repetition. I'm in a band, and I'm the lead vocalist and lyricist, and I don't even think I'VE done this good with a song. You're really good, I can't wait to see the project you wrote this for!

B.

It was pretty good, but sloppy. You should put it into verses and choruses. Also instead of writing out the same line tons of time. Put something like...

My incurable insomnia(x9) or however many times it goes.

Otherwise it was pretty great...so it goes with a story? That's pretty neat. Keep up the good job and check out my story if ya get the time. ^.^ Bye!