I'm not qute sure what this is about but I still like how creepy it is. I like anything that has a certain disturbing quality to it as this does.

oh... evil! twisted!...

nice.

~icewolf9 (12.10)

I'm veggie but this is very good. It's short, but it contains alot of contradiction in the way that the children seem like the meat themselves. It's good! Love Immortal x

true~~ but why are some plp vegetarians? lol~

keep writing!

If you had only read 'Lord of the Flies'.

There's something disturbing about this poem and it's got more to do with the children than the "razors in the flesh". Maybe it's just me but this also formed a sympathetic picture, instead of horrific (the state of children in Africa springs to mind). I just... well, a part of me is repulsed by this poem for its disturbing-ness but a part of me wants to understand further and ANOTHER part of me just wants to leave it alone. I've got to say, this has got to be one of the more conflicting things you've written so far, considering how I feel towards it.

I take an issue with the punctuations, especially the commas at the end of each sentence - they get in the way of flow. Get rid of them and I think this will look and sound much better in my head.

love it. so eerie and utterly amazing.

~* noelle

I don't quite get it. Are the children cannibals? Are you doing the whole "Run, run, as fast as you can. You can't catch me, i'm the gingerbreadman" thing?