My heart is beating so rapidly now. I've been dreadfully woried about Siobhan's fate. I'm happy that she has survived, but then, the school must have left her with quite a lot of painful memories.

Jason's sister burnt herself to death... No wonder Jason hates fire so much.

I sometimes joke that schools are ideal places for murderers to lurk around, yup. Anyway, I've some sort of theory--there might be more than one murderer. Muahaha.

1) Um, Jason/Siobhan or Tom/Siobhan? Frankly speaking, as long as Siobhan remains safe and sound, I don't care whether she prefers Jason or Tom.
2) S-o-t-m means "she's on the mountain"? Gosh, it's so complicated.

1) Okay, I know that this is 100% random, but I can't tolerate real-life males who have soft, silky voices.
2) I feel kinda sorry for Umberto here. Um, if he had read "Jane Eyre", he would have realized that he was in the same boat with Rochester.

1) “Often, those who don’t believe in the after life are those who are afraid of hell." (Wow, I'm freaked out. I think that Siobhan is referring to me, yeah.)
2) Oh, when Jason talks about the weighing of the deeds and so on, is he talking about karma? I really have no idea.
3) Great cliffhanger! :D

Help me! I've been reading Rachel's words over and over again, and I still can't figure out whether she has been hiding something from Siobhan. Maybe I'm over-sensitive, yet I feel that sometimes people don't mean what they say.

"My day hadn’t even started yet and it was already so…peachy." Muahaha, I love Siobhan's sarcasm here.

Some of my classmates always insist that even the most ridiculous rumor doesn't appear out of thin air. Maybe Jason is right. Maybe Miss Croyde and the Headmaster are in a relationship.

1) Actually, I kinda :) that Tony has acne. I mean, it's a flaw which makes him seem more...realistic. (Yeah, I've acne on my face too.)
2) Um, I don't find Lani annoying. I suspect that Siobhan has been too judgemental. Chill, Siobhan!

I usually skip dream scenes, but I think that you've described Siobhan's dreams quite well. Her dreams are interesting because of their vagueness, and they foreshadow that something bad will occur.

1) “It would look prettier dead,” I remarked. (Haha, I agree with Siobhan here. I've a fetish for dead leaves and flowers, really.)
2) Siobhan is very observant, isn't she? By the way, I'm happy that you've chosen the first person POV, which makes me observe everything through Siobhan's eyes.

Nice story!
Good job..
Jaliy!~

Awesome story! I couldn't stop reading it. I love the twist too...what you expect to be a building romance where the ending words are them declaring their love to each other ends with a shot of adventure and surprise and an INCREDIBLE ending. After I read the ending I had to reread it and then just had to think about everything that happened for a minute...I was creeped out and excited and on a high, I don't know. Awesomeness :)

Okay, so your writing is really good. And I don't mean to be rude by what I'm about to say, but your authors notes really throw me off. With the quality of the story, your use of chatspeak and lack of capitals in your authors notes are made much more noticeable. It's not like you don't know how to spell. You obviously do, judging by your stories. You're just neglecting to do so for some reason that I don't understand.

Like I said, I don't meant to be rude. I just thought that I would mention it, as it really affects the overall way I feel about reading this story. I hope you don't take this the wrong way, and I know that the authors notes aren't part of the actual story and that I don't HAVE to read them, but it's distracting nonetheless.

Overall, though, your writing is very good. The story is compelling and Siobhan is quite interesting. It can be difficult sometimes to write characters who aren't bland. I don't understand a great majority of the characters, but that is realistic. Also, one other thing that kind of annoys me is your use of the word 'babe'. I don't know what its like where you live or in your circle of friends, but I don't really get the excessive use of that word in speech by some of your characters. It would make a lot more sense if it was just one character who calls everyone 'babe' but I've noticed that a few of your characters, mainly the male ones, tend to use that word a lot.