It's a very bold piece- it holds together well and it says a million words to me.

The fact that it isn't written with a particular flow grasps my attention- and it's a good style, though some may like it fixed.

Good stuff- beautiful work ^^

I like the rhythm of this! I felt like I could actually hear someone reciting this.

A suggestion: while you're good on the punctuation and it really adds to this piece, the repetition of "I'd _" is a little distracting, and perhaps you could utilize punctuation to take its place; for instance, you could take out the "I'd" in the third line of the last stanza because it falls after the semi-colon.