FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| NeverComeDown 2006-06-16 ch 1,  | abuseI really like this. Is it going to continue or is it meant to be a one shot? Just one suggestion. The line: "I still remember that day so vividly it hurts" it is not as powerful as the the other ones. Maybe re- work it? You don't have to - just a little suggestion. But overall, this is really good. The main character really intrigues me and I would love to find out mroe about him or her. |