"my liquid calm self-control" is... amazingly worded. i have this extremely vivid picture of someone looking out of a window grinding their teeth (don't mind me :P). really interesting tone - sort of controlled, composed rage & disillusion.

I LOVE the last line, but the rest of it seems a little too abstract, like we can't really see what's going on. Hmm. I don't know.

i love the descriptions.. im not 100% sure what it's about, but i still think its really powerful & well written

oh god i just love your writing. each time i read a new piece i want to add that to my favourites aswell, oh if only i hadnt already gone over my limits... anyway great piece. the images you conjure are so unique, so effective and so perfect at getting what you want across. "My liquid calm self control"- love it. wonderful writing.

violently interesting... i like the viciously slashing imagery you're provoking. it's not quite hatred but there's a feeling that comes out... something strong that i can't quite put my finger on.

intriguing.

.:midnight:.

I loved the line about not being horizontal enough- that really struck a cord with me, I've never heard it discribed that wayt. And then the last line about the stars, they do blurr when you look at them for too long. I really loved this piece, its abstract and jagged but I think that it really words for mood and for the subject matter. Keep up the good work.Much love,

Juliet.