|Reviews for Unhappy Idealists|
| James Ingraham-Venne 4/17/06 . chapter 1
Is Petrograd a lost paradise once in the making like the New Capital of your short lived namesake, the Egyptian worshiper of the sun, and would be revolutionary whose art and new Egyptian order fell beneath the blowing sands? There is something haunting about this poem and others. "Suddenly" certainly has it; haunted by lost opportunities and non-existent scapecoats: "Shit happens." I like your distinction between between a 'revolutionary' and an "idealist.' It strikes me a little bit like the joke about the girl expecting a pony for her birthday only to find a room full of shit. A true idealist, she assumed that with all the shit there had to be a pony in there somewhere. So she got busy cleaning the place up. Perhaps an upgrade from idealist to mystic; and revolutionary to a mystic who "ties his camel" in the Koranic tradition can return the Petrograds of the world to the high standards of beauty and meaningfulness we sometimes dream about, especially when Lady Luck is smiling at us as we walk Wiscosin landscapes, my own home as well. Peace.
| writer4hire 12/29/05 . chapter 1
Wow...that's amazing...and so true.
| Deezy 12/2/05 . chapter 1
hi i noticed yo reviewed some of my stuff so i thought i would give your work a look
this is very good my favorite part has to be the last two lines cillings yet thought provoking well done
| by His blood 10/28/05 . chapter 1
thank you for your review on my poem. _ i liked this poem, & the general idea behind it. very nicely written, especially the ending. the last four lines conveyed the point especially well. nice job - please keep writing.
| Typewriter Koinonia 10/25/05 . chapter 1
I'm Fake Raptor!
| Weeba 10/25/05 . chapter 1
A powerful poem with a strong ending. It's a very interesting point to make, and some of your imagery is lovely: particularly the part you quoted in your summary. I can see why you quoted that.
I have just two comments: I understand the sense behind "the oppressors they oppressed", and normally I would give the repetition two thumbs up. However, I'm not sure how well the syntax works there: oppressed has too many consonants, and sounds awkward in the mind. If I were you, I'd try to keep the repetition but change the word. Or you could just change the second word. Up to you.
Also, you repeat the word "commune" in lines five and six; I'd recommend taking out the one in line six.
Also...God, you have no idea how much I *hate* myself for grovelling like this, but I was wondering...I've put a new story up called "Joke's on You" that I need to submit to a contest on November 18th. I'm looking for honest, thoughtful reviews on it, and I was wondering if you could take a look. If you don't want to, that's fine. But I need all the help I can get, so I'm asking everyone.
Sorry-I know I hate it when people do that. Anyway, good poem, and keep writing!