Well, that was certainly dark like you said it would be. I like the repetition and the use of satire to get your point across. Nice work. Keep writing! :)

very dark. keep on writng

i don't know if that was what you were going for but i found this a bit scary. very good though. Pretty good ryhme in it.

Your question about my song. I'm actually trying to think of music for it currently. When i wrote the lyrics i was in an indie-rock mood, as i was listening to The Subways at the time. It's in standard tuning and although it's being written on an acoustic, i want it to be electric to get across more the power of the song.

Hope that answers your question.

wow! that is very morbid - not what i expected at all. i love the rhyme and rhythm - it flows really well. great work :)

Wow. that truly was morbid. Love it. Nice rythm you got going there. I really did enjoy that poem in all it's morbid/creepy-ness.