It reminded me largely of a rap song... But it was good! I like how you always repeated "up", but then you said "down", and really flipped things around.

I don't normally use slang/things like that (i.e screw up), and I don't normally enjoy it, but it was good! Keep it up :)

Haha this poem/song was excellent. I felt like rapping it to myself as I read it. It is very depressing, but it tells it like it is, which gives it a hint of truth and hope throughout it. Although you don't think it's your best work I think it might be mine.

wow.

absolutely.brilliant.last.line.

wow.

damn right! good stuff man! i like the flow, it's good.

cheers

This poem was really good. And at the end I was just like "damn...up doesn't seem so positive, does it?"

Very nice. I liked it.

Kick **, my friend :) You rock, yes indeed. I'm suprised this hasn't gotten, like, a million reviews; I guess people really *are* screwed 'up' ;)

I like it. :) Interesting, original formatting. All your "beat up"'s and "filled up"'s are cool.

you say up alot, but i think you mean to. Anyways ... its racism, sorry had to point that out

also, its a pretty good concept, and you can tool it, and your skill into a working poetry writer, but you gotta work at it