You took it from the song. It wasn't terrible, but the song greatly outweighs your work.

hey hey, it's me from ff.net...omg, that poem wus so beautiful...is this the one yu're entering? i'm sure it will place. it's simply beautiful, and anything i added would only taint it...omg, beautiful...

oh my... this is truly touching. tragically beautiful. it seems so straight forward at first but then it gets a little more abstract .. or maybe thats just me. ^.^ anyways... i really like this piece. really something to be proud of. and i agree, the last stanza is my favorite.

Ooh. At first I kind of read it as being this fantastical battle, but then as I continued on it seemed more and more like a modern romance, or the death of one. As Karen O once said... There is no modern romance. I liked this piece a lot, it kind of expresses (to me) how relationships are and how they fade away. Pretty.

And angels sang our songOur bloodstained, bleeding,Beautiful,Broken Hallelujah

Truly fantastic, evocative stuff. Many congratulations. I look forward to the story linked to this poem, when you post it.

Beautiful... absolutely beautiful. Love the last stanza.