Wow... That was absolutely incredibly amazing. You didn't describe much of how Jake had been hurt but the rest of it was just described so perfect balancing ou the emotions and the reality, rest of it. The last two sentences are the perfect closure. Amazing story, well done.

Wow...the imagry in this...you did an excellent job. It makes you hurt as the girl hurts...that sucked (not your work, that was excellent, but hurting for a non-existant chara.)...wow. You've got skills, especially when you can make the readers sad. I wanted to cry...it was just...wow. Wonderful!

Harlequin~Please fix me...

ohh man.. i love this little story soo much.. i am the child that dreams of flight and consider it like one would consider going to the zoo. the imagery in this piece is so amazing.. ahh.. i was just floored! awesome work.. keep it up!