Reviews for Random Equipment - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: Random Equipment - Reviews: Page 1 of 2

Casey Drake 2008-07-12 ch 27, anon.	abuseAww... poor Jason... :) CD
Scared Loveless 2008-05-03 ch 26,	abuseIs that the end?
For What Its Worth 2008-03-13 ch 26,	abuseHmm...You do romantic pretty well. You may want to make the descriptions of the scene a bit longer, though. In manga, there is much more background information that just one small sentence can provide.
Casey Drake 2007-12-10 ch 26,	abuseInteresting. I haven't read this since the fight with Scott, so I find this fascinating. ...Has it always been called "Random Equipment"? I especially liked the last page, though there is a lot of text to deal with if it ever gets drawn. :) CD
Carrie 2007-08-03 ch 23, anon.	abuseCool plot. Some holes and a bit rough considering the fact that it's meant to be a comic strip, but the dialogue flows well. Apparently something went REALLY wrong considering that it is now August 3rd and this was last updated on the 2nd of JULY. Please update soon. Also, please updated Dragons as well that one has been gone for too long!
Casey Drake 2006-07-02 ch 23,	abusenodnod this is interesting. :) CD
Casey Drake 2006-07-02 ch 20,	abusesnerk "um... thanks?" nodnod I like. :) CD
For What Its Worth 2006-06-13 ch 18,	abusewhoa. chay likes her, and scott is now no longer her friend. thats sad. but still really good. update soon.
Casey Drake 2006-02-17 ch 18,	abuse>.< Oo... ouch. THAT'S gotta be painful. grr... Scott's being so mean and unreasonable... even though it makes sense... wants to jump on him :) CD
Ascidiella 2006-02-17 ch 18, anon.	abuseI really like your stories and your character development in them. For this one, I like the idea of the graphic novel, but when I tried to envision this in a 12 panel per page form (or do you mean for each panel to have its own page?), I think that you might have too much going on per panel. For graphic novels/comics scripts, you have to give more of the story to the picture, and only so much dialogue can be put into each panel... I can imagine it makes it annoying to try to type up the story though, since you'd have to break everything up! So for your first panel in this chapter, if I were drawing it, I could have it be a whole page in itself, and not necessarily limited to a certain number of panels in a page -that can make a comic seem more dynamic, depending on the placement of panels, different sizes or shapes of panels: First panel: Bryn and Chay are still at the table, talking and smiling, and it seems darker outside. 2nd panel: Zoom in closer to the two -Chay slightly frowning (confused/curious?), and Bryn looking surprised.“So why me?”“What?” 3rd panel: Zoom in just on Chay. Maybe Chay looks down, a bit shy.“Why did you decide to ask me out, of all people?” 4th panel: Flashback sequence, with dialogue set off in a different kind of "bubble" to show that. Bryn's back is to us, and he and the viewer is looking into the main room where Chay is doing work.“Oh, um, well, I was at your place with Jason once a while ago, and, well, you were there in the main room doing homework. 5th panel: Flashback, maybe just a pretty picture of Chay working."I don’t think you noticed me at all, cause you never looked up, but I just thought you were so beautiful…I’m surprised your brother didn’t catch me staring at you…" 6th panel: Flashback, Chay looking animated, sitting with another guy who's maybe laughing, surrounded by books."Then when I was there another time you were studying with a guy, I think Jason said his name is Scott? Well, I caught some of your conversation, and you just seemed, well, lively and like no girl I’ve ever met, really." 7th panel: Out of flashback, back to Bryn maybe looking shyly up at Chay, or just zoomed to Bryn looking shyly up at viewer."You had a sort of no-nonsense sort of vibe to you that I really liked, kinda like your brother, but unlike him you, well, you show yourself to people, but you’re careful about it. I like that about you.” Just something to keep in mind if you had plans to someday collaborate with someone to actually make your comic! I'm not a professional by any means, but I have a little experience in making comics and working with someone else who wrote the script. Thanks for writing so many interesting stories and dooming me to procrastinate so much reading them! I look forward to your next update.
Casey Drake 2006-01-21 ch 17,	abuseoo... sweet. :) CD
gwyn15 2006-01-21 ch 17, anon.	abusehey! Great couple of chapters :Dcan't wait for more!
WesternZephy 2006-01-21 ch 7,	abuseConfused...is this fantasy? Not experienced in this kind of thing, but I would have thought that this is a superhero thing. Whatever, I think it's cool.
gwyn15 2006-01-15 ch 12, anon.	abusehey! another great chapter :Dkeep up the good work!
Casey Drake 2006-01-13 ch 12,	abuseah. fire and ice... SWEET! thinks though you're right, or rather, Bryn's dad is right... it's probably a curse to them. Her dad really is an insensitive sonuvagun. :) CD

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