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| OniRoi 2008-08-23 ch 1,  | abuseHm. I can't say I like your main character. In fact, I couldn't stand her. You know why? Because I feel as though you're forcing your readers to like her by making her excessively bubbly and over the top. She doesn't sound natural. Note! Cut the details! Your prologue has the worst concentration of details. I understand if you want your viewers to get a good "look" at your character, but honestly, the paragraphs of her genealogy is a bad way to do it. You need to learn how to integrate details as the story progresses. I'd suggest reading up on Tatiana Moore's series about Estala Ramos. She does an excellent job at showing us that the main character is half Mexican. |
| locks92 2008-08-09 ch 7, | abuseomigosh!! HAHA...GUD FO HER AT LEAST SHE'S BEEN 2 A CO-ED SKOOL lolz, I'm in an all girl's catholic high school, before that, all girl's catholic primary school baha and we did not have any bi's or lez lol. Oh and yea, I have MALEA-PHOBIA TO...LOLZO. WELL ANYWAE, HM...I like all the guys lol. I don't know, I think this is a totally cliche'd book but I keep cracking up when she swears..I do the same thing to accept I voice it out loud.."NO I'M GOING TO HEL..NOO!!" BAHA, BUT yea, I'm ova that phase thnkfully. I like MATT, his so sweet but I like Rutherford 2:D:D So yea, cant wait for l8er chappies and this defo going on my fav's tab ~mARYANN~ |
| seekingvirtue17 2007-07-22 ch 7, | abuseI'm really liking this story. Can't wait to read the next chappy. |
| Fairytale Gurl 2007-06-08 ch 7, | abuseit's been more than a year. sob sob sob. pleaes update soon! i really like this story! and please get marc with faye. LOL! |
| JustWriter 2007-04-30 ch 7, | abusedun, Dun, DUN! For some reason I'm thinking of my friend Charmaine's appearance as Cleo's, even though Charmaine's exactly like Cleo's sisters put together; stylish, trendy, cute, sweet, popular, says hi to basically anyone, and she loves the color orange! She also has Mocha-colored skin b/c of at least African-American, Anglo-Saxon, and some sort of tropical whatnot descent. I'm guessing the last one b/c she always had this exotic look to her...in my opinion at least, so she kinda just popped into my head while I was reading this story. She looks so kawii in orange! It does wonders for her complexion. -JW`chan ^-^ |
| Crazy Wynona 2007-04-15 ch 1, | abuseI like this story. The only problem I have is the grammar and the kind of perky language that the character always seems to use. Keep on updating! |
| ChasingLithium 2007-03-05 ch 7, anon. | abuseNuo!! Cliff hanger!! Update this one too please :D sheepish grin! m... |
| DigiChar 2007-03-01 ch 7, | abuseOMB! I get it! I feel so slow... His name is Marc as in Marc Antony! Haha, anyways, this story is great! Rutherford would make a perfect Slytherin; he has the characteristics! Cleo reminds me of myself. I nearly get hit by cars all of the time! Did you name the characters all after famous dead people? -DigiChar |
| atreyu love 2006-12-22 ch 7, | abuseGAH! WHERE ARE THE UPDATES?? please? |
| atreyu love 2006-12-22 ch 4, | abuseo. whos henry? |
| OMFG 2006-12-16 ch 7, anon. | abuseomfg! henry sounds kinda sexy to me...lol! omfg! i cant wait till u put up ur next chapter |
| Sylphy 2006-12-02 ch 7, | abuse*still giggling* Wow! I've laughed the whole way through this story. It's brilliant. Well done! Update it soon! |
| troryfan3007 2006-11-28 ch 2, | abuseThis is a fantastic story1 I luv it! Jo |
| Euglena 2006-11-14 ch 7, | abuseOH MY GOD ME NO LIKEY CLIFFHANGERS! |
| Euglena 2006-11-14 ch 5, | abuseHAHAHAHAHAHA...very unexpected! |