*sigh* this is more work than I thought, reviewing this much. I seriously hope that I'm not bothering you, but I love getting reviews and I figured other people do to but your stories are the first in three days that I've found to be worth reviewing and reading and everything. I really like this, both versions. The number thing was nifty and the ending wasn't what I was expecting, in a good way. ^_^ Great job.

Don't really know how to describe how I feel about this.

I do adore the unique way you formatted this little one-shot.

Besides that - loved it.

Keep writing.

It was good...It had something going for the first four and then five and six just seem to be thrown in there. It was good though, I liked it. But number six...you got me on that one.

The only thing that confused me was 5. You said that "he falls asleep", but you meant something else than our first impression, and I know that you probably wanted to surprise us with 6. But Maybe there's another way of doing that. Reread it. You know the story better than the readers, so you'd know better than us what needs work. What else about their story is there to tell? 6 could use a bit more expansion, I guess. But you know the story, and it's too short to find inconsistencies in it yet.

That's beautiful- you have a gift for poetic description.

I've never seen something written in this format before. I like it- particularly how the sentence sort of hints at the end, but you don't see it coming at all. So sad, very nice.