FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| sweet raptured light 2006-02-06 ch 1,  | abuseWonderful work. I could relate to this one so much. =] |
| hey maria 2005-11-01 ch 1, | abuseLike the way the images were brief but vivid. "Flashing lights and horrid music": oh yes, definitely reminds me of the sucky dances at my school. Liked this as a whole, but there's one line that just doesn't seem to fit: "Your eyes haunt the lyrics on my dividers." I like it, but the poem didn't really seem to be about anybody in particular, and this just introduces the "you." It's a haunting, romantic line, but it doesn't really fit the rest. Well that's just what I think; you probably meant something different. Good job, keep writing. |