Quite original. The ending seems to be missing something... but if you were aiming for unexpected, well you got it. Somehow the ending should have been more fantastic. Oh well. Pretty good though.

Keep writing.

Merry Christmas!

-dawn

What a beautiful fable, worthy of the Brother's Grimm! By the way, thanks for giving us moderate feminists a thumbs up.

One of my favorite sentences was "while the air clung about her woven blankets and the cold snatched frozen puffs from her lungs..." Did you get that from something you read? Amazing!

Definitely going on my favorites!

Very nice, vivid words and amazing detail. This was a cute story, and very original. Good job.Thanks for the review!

LL

hello malachi, long time no slay. this is really brilliant stuff. your use of onomatopaiea is excellent, and my favourite is "twigs crackling".

incidentally, are smetanya and tanya the same person? It wasnt quite made clear in the story.

your writing style was great as well, because you have the right mix of moving the narrative along (so i dont get bored), and describing it.

one of the best of yours that ive read, well done.

Interesting...