Reviews for Users and Posers - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: Users and Posers - Reviews: Page 1 of 2

sketchingaCYNiC 2006-06-26 ch 2,	abuseI like the concept a lot. :] And Calvin's character is very well-rounded; as is Nick's (I would even go so far as Jenna's, as well). But I think that Leah is a major Mary Sue. She's nice (too nice), bland, going out with a jock, and kind of 2-D. Being 'too nice' doesn't count as a flaw. Hopefully you will develop her as you go on. I noticed you already caught "unico hijo," but you haven't edited it yet... I didn't know they were Spanish. I thought they were Caucasian... In some places, esp. in Calvin's perspectives, I feel like you tell, intead of show. (awkward instances when Calvin's 'incestuously' noticing Camille.) caught a few grammar mistakes -- "Let’s not disturbed this ** show." - disturb? "He was smiling at Leah and slightly frowned when he saw what they were doing." - but frowned "He watched as the two walked away, as Elliot was scolding Leah." - don't need the 2nd "as" Anyway, besides that, I'm interested to see what will happen with Camille. :D I like the subplots in this.
Raven O'Connor 2006-02-13 ch 4,	abuseI've just found this story by accident. There are minor typos, but otherwise it's pretty good. I hope you don't mind if I comment a little. The only thing I'd like to point out is that the characters could use a little development. Camille struck me as the submissive type. that's okay I guess. I kind of like her, but I hope she gets a little backbone. Nicholas came off like a typical arrogant, rich guy, but seeing this is still early in the story, I hope his character will be fleshed out more as the story goes along. As for Calvin, I keep getting different vibes from him. Sometimes he's protective of Camille, and some other times he doesn't seem to like her. Or maybe it's just me seeing things differently.. :) I think I can understand Leah's hostile behavior toward Camille. Since she's a good friend of Calvin, I believe she's just being protective of him. Phew! this is the longest review I've ever written. Anyway, these are just my opinions. I don't expect you to take them all. There are other characters I'd like to comment, but I don't have the time right now. Great work though.
master-shadowhawk 2005-12-26 ch 4,	abusegood story. Leah isn't hitting it off so well is she? Well, can't wait till the next update!
pottazcutey 2005-12-21 ch 4,	abusenice update!(: Merry Christmas. (:
twistedFAerieTALes 2005-12-21 ch 4, anon.	abuse:)
TaurusGirl7 2005-12-21 ch 4,	abuseupdate soon!
TaurusGirl7 2005-12-08 ch 3,	abuseupdate soon!
pottazcutey 2005-12-02 ch 3,	abusenice I loved it
Juniper Nights 2005-12-01 ch 3,	abusehm...i really like this story...update soon!!
twistedFAerieTALes 2005-12-01 ch 3, anon.	abuselol.
Tucking Fypo 2005-12-01 ch 3,	abuseI like it a lot! It fits together like a puzzle...(even though I hate puzzles) but this is a story so it really doesn't matter. Update Soon!
2005-11-30 ch 2, anon.	abuseThis is an interesting story. Wouldn't they want to get a DNA test and see if she was actually their daughter? Also "only child" in spanish isn't "unika iho." It's "único hijo"
Lucy K 2005-11-27 ch 2, anon.	abuseGood story. The only thing though, if Mrs. Palmer wanted to be sure that Camille was her daughter wouldn't it have been logical to take a DNA test?
sloppy firsts 2005-11-26 ch 2,	abusethis is very very well written. i love all the characters especially riley so i hope she'll be in the later chapters :) just one question though, why is mrs palmer deluding herself and why is camille letting her when she knows that she's not her mother?
Sally-andersonn 2005-11-25 ch 1,	abuseAh yes. The hysterical psycho woman. You didn't go into how she got so psycho. Also, you need to htink things through a little more. Camile seems awfully pwerless and submissive. Characters are unreasonbable and need some thinking out. The door 'colliding' with camilles pinky toe is stupidly trumped up.I'm finding it hard to take this story seriously as it seems you didn't.

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