This was very well written, very well done. I think you have the emotions down very well. Congrats :)

This is a really nice short piece. Your use of symbolism and imagery is great, and your language is perfect for the stream-of-consciousness style.

Interesting use of formatting, I must say, but you've done it well. It's not too overwhelming, just adding emphasis where emphasis is due.

Anyway, that's all I have to say - it's a nice bit of poetry-prose, the style that you seem to be inordinately good with.