This is good, but it could be better.

Try rhyming, it was the mistake i often made before, the poem would really be more emotional if it has a continuous rhythm.

thanks yo.

-threm.

Very nice and good flow. Bit on the short side but you captured the emotion. Nice work!
Lee
PS: If you honestly want to trade reviews just pick something at random. I write historical/Irish stuff so..

I liked how you used the eggshell to compare with how fragile a person is.It really shows how easily one can get hurt.

I didn't quite grasp the ending.

"Now you are gone

…Forever…

And once more I am alone,

Without a mother."

It stated that once more I am alone without a mother.Technically the narrator wasn't alone before.She/he always had her.Or am I seeing things wrong?Other than that I think this poem has great emotion in it.

The beginning of the piece made it sound like a love-relationship poem, and then it twisted into a tragic-loss poem. I think usually the transition for this kind of piece would have been a bit smoother; I felt that only some of the emotion went in the direction you were pushing and a bit of it was lost. I think it's because either the twist came about too late or there wasn't enough of an impact in the closure I guess. It was just kind of iffy for me.

I liked the idea of the egg/shell. It provided imagery that allows you to follow the piece along easier. It also helped make the mood of the piece more vibrant.

Good effort on this poem (:

I like your repition of the idea of eggs and shells. It helped maintain a similar feeling throughout the poem, and in a weird way it sort of related to the ending.

Speaking of which, I liked the end because it was an interesting twist. It seemed to be about romance, then you completely changed the meaning simply and with a lot of impact.

i like this one, it shows emotion well and it's descriptive in the words you chose

i think the punctuation could use a little bit of work in some places though, it would help with the flow of things

An excellent poem on the expressions of a child that lost its maternal parent. Creative descriptions abound, and very interesting imagery. A job well done!

sad :[
but i liked the idea and wording you used.
i think you might have needed a few commas is a few places.

This is a really heartfelt poem, and I think you did an excellent job.

I liked the line "Like an eggshell; thin, fragile/That will break with a gentle caress." However, the word "that" at the beginning of the line doesn't seem right somehow; maybe it should be "it" or "I"? Otherwise, this was a truly beautiful poem, and I look forward to more of your work.

Zoey

Review Game!

Wow, I like the message. It really sinks in. Your imagery is also stunning, it helps the poem take flight. I like how you used the eggshell, a good comparison.
I can't find anything I don't like about it, it's great.
Amazing.

~Me

so sad and bluntly honest. if you think about it, you really are tied down with chains when a loved one dies.. i never thought about that before:)

I really like this poem!! It shows deep, true emotion!

"And now that too is gone"--There should be commas before and after 'too.'

Aww, you must really love your mother. Has she seen this poem? If not, she should. At first I thought it was about a gf or something, but then I saw the word 'mother' and a lightbulb went off. This poem is just so beautiful and full of love.

I really liked this poem. It is sad without being overly sentimental. Good job!

This is good work! The depth in your poetry is noteworthy. The meter from line to line may be inconsistent, but they still seem to synergize somehow.