Not bad its good.

Neteri Bennu

YO!dude this rox!Best stuff youve like, written. awesomedude you should write more lyrics. Like, now. HEHEHE. YAYlahk

Awesome song! I can totally imagine hearing it on the radio. I love the chorus, "No one's there to comfort her/When she cries/No one's there to cry for her/When she dies" or the repeated part, if it isn't the chorus, lol. Anyway, great job! Keep writing, you're really good! :-)