FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| les petits bateaux 2005-12-05 ch 1,  | abuseYour descriptions are just wonderfully vivid, and your the 2nd paragraph is just an opinion, yet, it somehow is true. Very well done. ~~Trinity |
| beti213 2005-11-11 ch 1, | abuseI love the bit about the pale undersides of leaves-I could see that perfectly... "Cattails in patches shed white fluff made of wishes and dreams" could be so much more... first, verb choice: "made of" is kind of ambiguous, and then, you could add a bunch more meaning by omitting "wishes and dreams" and trying to find another way to describe the effect without either of those words. It's a good exercise as a writer as well.I love the last lines... gorgeous-great ending line :) |
| Ajna 2005-11-03 ch 1, | abuseBeautiful. Gorgeous. Amazing... There are not enough words to describe this. As I read the last part,I could feel myself smiling. Wonderful poem, I absolutely love it. |