Wonderful poem. It does indeed have a very nice rhythm. It just wobbled a bit towards the end, otherwise it does indeed combine the two things nicely hehe.

And you're not the only one who's had major disagreements with the onscreen editor here. It always messes my stuff up as well.

I like this very much.I don't even like poetry and I like this.

I was going to be a woman of few words and say nice. Because it is nice. But you rated this K and then you pull out the swear words in your author notes? *stare*

so true, so true... awesome.

Oh my gosh! I love, just love it, there is no more to say but the most awesomest, pimp shizzle, truest poem in the world!

oi the rhythm's fine. just takes a moment to look at. the bold is a good addition to it, give the emphasis you're so terrified of losing. this i have nothing critical to say of. it's essentially flawless in that it is what you say and it flows enough to where it's enjoyable to read, especially out loud. again, well written

Very unique and interesting song, there is definitely a clear swing pattern to the lines. I have no clue what style of jazz you used to compose it but I got more a swing or bop feel from it. Keep up the excellent work!

Oh, I love this! Simple, beautiful, rhythmic. Makes me want to watch 'Swing Kids'!