I love the enitre piece, personally, but I'm just going to say, as I have grammar whoring teachers who are making me worse than I used to be, that grammar seems a bit lax. But you've probably had that lecture anyway. Other than that nitpicky kind of stuff its really good. First draft?I'll just say I felt tears near the end.

- L:BVR xx

*sniff*

happy happy as ever, hey hel? tis v goot :) i'd suggest adding a few commas though; some of your sentences are a bit long for one breath :) part from that tis fab x

Wow...angusty...I like! ^^

I very rarely review, unless I think something is good enough to deserve one, so yep, this qualifies. I feel really bad for Maria; going through stuff like that really hurts. You ended it at just the right place too: Where the reader wants more.

Your writing style is quite unique and I enjoyed reading this. It's hard to find someone who can stand out in a crowd like you can.

I only have one small critique. There are a couple of sentences in the beginning that were a bit awkward. Watch for that in the future. Other than that, I can't find anything wrong with the story.

Added you to my Author Alert and favorites list; I can't wait to see what else you'll post!

Keep writing!

--Tobira, signed and sealed