i expect you to be published one day, i'll be watching cause i too will get published one day

very thorough and interesting
there is not too much description and not too less
- however i think the first para for the dawn chapter could be made more interesting the descrition there was a bit mundane
other wise excellent i thought
update as soon as you can for i will be waiting
(hope i havnt offended u with my critiquing)

Wow. Kinda reminds me of "The House of Usher". I also like the short chapters too. I usually get tired when reading those long long chapters, but it doesn't even seem long winded at all. I'll have to keep going...

you have intrigued me...

Living during that time had to be terrifying. Great job with this story. Please update soon.

~Twilight Starr~

Good chapter. Andrea seems like an obendient servant.

~Twilight Starr~

Poor Simona. Things aren't looking good for anyone in this story.

~Twilight Starr~

Things aren't looking good for Alonso.

~Twilight Starr~

How ironic that the man's wife fall ill after he beat up Helena.

~Twilight Starr~

Poor Helena. Alonso seems like a nice guy.

~Twilight Starr~

They have a rough life. Good chapter. Nice job explaining Simona's emotions as she comforted Helena.

~Twilight Starr~

Her father sounds unusual.

Great job!

~Twilight Starr~

That's so sad. Poor girl.

Great job!

~Twilight Starr~

Great beginning.

The Black Plague is an interesting subject.

Good luck with writing and this story.

Have a wonderful day. :)

~Twilight Starr~

I had to re-read the last two chapters to remember what was going on. That's the problem with Fictionpress. Obviously, it's not a book and everyone has to wait so sometimes readers get lost. But I didn't mind rereading :). You always catch things a second time anyway. So the handsome, dark-haired "man" was Lucifer? Very interesting interpretation. I like when Death's personified in these type of situations--like a reminder that it's everywhere. "The plague made a body suffer for three days; we suffered more in our worry." GREAT line. So I'm excited to see what happens once the family leaves.

The zombie story is also gone for awhile...what I wanted to do with it sort of fell apart.

*faery tragedy