I don't even know what to say... this was incredible and... incredible.

i can totally relate. But i've also decided to get over my fear and jump again and that makes me feel really alive...thanks for such an enthusiastic review, my band, Rhapsody, has composed melodies for most of the stuff i have on fiction press and you can listen to some of them at w.i-bands.net/audiovault/Rhapsody

Beautiful! Enough said.

-You look deep into my eyes,/And I see the nervousness in yours,/I smiled, because I knew,- This is a common error in your poems. You mix up pretense and past-tense. "Look" is present, and that's what happening in the moment, so "I smiled" should be present as well, but it's past-tense. Change "smiled" to "smile."

-I lead your roaming hands,/to the parts of my body/That makes me feel magical- Lol, quite the imagery!! And you make it sound quite lovely and beautiful rather than dirty. Nice job.

-“I’m goddamn sure, that its you,- "its" should be "it's."

-I pulled away from thebeautiful kiss,- Loading error.

I was really liking this poem until the last several lines. It went downhill for me there when it started doing that "too many times" thing. It was still an alright poem though. I'm glad to see these are more well-written than the earlier ones. The rhythm is better and the imagery stronger.

Overall, nice job.

This is so sad. But also, I read so many love poems about teenagers, but not so many about adults. It's a different type of writing and I admire you for attempting it. I don't know what it feels like to be an adult or to have been in love more than once, but you seem like you've really captured the feelings well. There is more passion and more certainty or uncertainty depending.

Honestly, I really thought at the end that she would turn back to him and be like, "What the heck, what have I got to lose?" But no. Life doesn't always happen that way. God, I hope I don't end up like that. Anyway, sorry my review was so long. Cheers.

-- Devay --

eh, too lazy to sign in...

anyway, good job. i especially liked the title... very original and creative.

How can someone your age have such a wisdom to her? Keep it up, you obviously have a passion for this.

Yet another sad, but brilliant poem. Good job.

Tschau,Sam

So sad. Very good.

this is so sweet and sad. b.e.a.u.t.i.f.u.lkeep writing i like ur stuff.

ps thnx for the review ;)

I seriously wanted to cry. This one is lovely and the plot/story/theme/ of this poem is wonderful! good work

I think...this happens to too many people- they love, and build an illusion of the strength of that love in their mind, and then the person they love has a different perspective, and they just go off and trash the first person, leaving them standing there in the cold, the sky crying for them because, after a while, the tears just don't come. This was a beautiful piece- I'm off to read your next one!

I really liked it. I could relate and that always makes a poem that much more effective. I liked the straight-fowardness of it. GREAT!

Very nice. It mirrors what I have felt, and still feel at times, with my boufriend. I like.