there's something really divine in this earthly mortal beauty of yours. i especially love the last two lines. they were just plain brilliant.

I really like your references to myth. I'm not familiar with the tanka, so I won't criticize your form. This poem strangely reminded me of Poe's "To Helen"--a lovely piece as well. Good job.

i can't say i really understand your word choice here because, frankly, i'm not sure if i do. mythology reference(s) no doubt; not sure why it's "Dorian Gray" though. ah well. i wish i understood it better - maybe i'll look some of it up later. if it gets across what you needed to say, that's what's important.

-salt.

oh god. you touched my Psyche (though not as great as my Persephone)obsession. obviously, I love that line and just ADORE the whole thing in all its breathtaking glory. lovely, lovely. lovely. :)

~* noelle

nice

As I told you, I think this is wonderful. And I can relate really well. The "my Psyche and Muse" line really strikes a chord. Beautiful work, and thank you so much for mentioning me! I feel so honored. ^.^

good attempt at writing in a traditional format. "Dorian Gray" brings in dark implications though..was that the intention? do keep writing :D

Awesome stuff. I wouldn't know much of these stuff but it is brilliant.It is.

Cheers-RW

Honesty; I love the Psyche line the best (I'm somewhat obsessed over her through mythology) I like the last line about syllabul's as well, love is a beautiful (psyche and the muse line) and caotic (the "what?" facter of that last line) it doesn't really fit but it works. I don't know if you were trying to do that but it worked for me.