I like how even though they were in seperate places, you said they went to sleep 'together.' Nice symbolism there. I think, though, that some of the dialogue was bordering on overdone emotionally...a little too movie-script for the reader to benifit from. Interesting little one shot, keep up the good work!

yep, fantastic. but you knew that right? hehe. anyway thats really beautiful. and i enjoyed reading it imensely. -kp

good story but in the last paragraph make some serious indents and make them into more paragraphs so u can tell who is saying what...keep up the good work!

I really don't know what to say. All I know is that I cant relate to this, and I think you know that too. Why do our lives have to be so complicated? Great job.

Oh, so sweet! It's really well written except for one thing: you need to space out the dialogue so it's easier to read. Other than that, it's very good. :)

Christine

P.S. We should compile all of our best writing and publish a book, and then we'll sell enough copies to pay for college...or we could just be rich enough to not even have to go to college! Wouldn't that be nice...*sigh* Yeah, we gotta get on that.