 theoretically beautiful 2007-02-08 . chapter 1beautiful. |
 Kimiko's Cousin 2006-06-28 . chapter 1Ooh...this wins the tingles-up-and-down-the-spine award! *fave* |
 Aneliz Rei 2006-06-26 . chapter 1w.thinkpages.net |
 no.peace.los.angeles 2006-04-28 . chapter 1OMG, that was amazing. Someone commented that your writing is like a drug, and it is, b/c it's so damn addicting! This is a very dizzying poem, but with the subject, that's a good thing. I have no idea how you managed to accomplish this, but it's wonderful, and I thought of a friend of mine who went through an eating disorder when I read this. Amazing. Great work. Keep writing! :) |
 from beneath the bell jar 2006-01-12 . chapter 1I love the way you worded the story here. "she's still not perfect yet" I loved that. Beautifully worded - it's so weird tho, because I'm writing an anorexia poem right now...anyway, great piece. |
 Lines To Time 2005-12-18 . chapter 1I love the way the rhyming seemed to add another layer to the poem-- an almost sarcastic edge, somewhat bitter but with the beginnings of a smirk. And yet it was wonderfully empathetic, as if you knew exactly what the girl was feeling (which I hope you don't). Really great job. I love to see talented, intelligent people cover topics that could be so cliched otherwise. |
 les petits bateaux 2005-12-16 . chapter 1Amazingly written. The rhymes were thought-provoking, and beautiful. Your descriptions were vivid which is very good in a poem like this. |
 the naked civil servant 2005-11-30 . chapter 1oh my god that is amazing. jesus CHRIST. |
 dollface and her cancer 2005-11-29 . chapter 1"Throws it up and sits it up". Flowing, clever wordplay. |
 The Watched 2005-11-27 . chapter 1Just...raw. Truthful and raw.
Just one thing though - 'hilights' is spelt 'highlights'. Unless it's for dramatic effect, I suppose. |
 hoowdoideletethisaccount 2005-11-25 . chapter 1This is a great poem, although some of the lines don't make sense to me "shes throws it up and sits it up"-? Some of it is so clear and "wham!" and emotionally powerful, and some of it is imagery-ed into ambiguity :D So, yeah, I didn't understand all of it.
But I liked it. Especially the lines in italics. And especially, especially the first one. "and --she's still not perfect yet--" Man, sad. Good. |
 Chandra-Moon 2005-11-24 . chapter 1This is excellent, everything about it: the way you portray the skinny, bulimic girl who is never good enough for herself. Your writing is exquisite, your rhythms are perfect, it has such a feel with the rhyming and the beat.
To summarize: good poem, I enjoyed it. keep writing.
(oh: "and she's still not perfect yet." A simple line, but did wonders to the poem. I don't know why, but it was meaningful to me.) |
 simpleplan13 2005-11-20 . chapter 1i love that last line.. great poem |
 White Tea and Ginger 2005-11-17 . chapter 1The imagery and word choice and entire twisted theme here is great. It really brings this poem to life. Or death, perhaps- it seems that's where this girl is headed to.
As always, this is a fabulous piece.
Keep writing! |
 Frosted Midnight 2005-11-16 . chapter 1this is interesting...i like it |