FictionPress.com - let the words flow
| FictionPress.com - let the words flow |
|
| Home Just In Communities Forums Beta Readers Dictionary Search | Login Register Extras |
| Bloodfeeder 2008-11-20 ch 1,   | Uh oh. This sounds like a really cool story, is it slash? Just wondering. There wasn't a tag in the summary, so I don't think so but... -shrug- Anywasy, update soon, Lee |
| Ayame-Sohma's-Pet-Kitten 2006-08-11 ch 1, | Please write more soon. I want to see what happens to poor Flarilin. Lord Lywatch is a bastard and should have the sight burned from HIS eyes. But that's just my opinion. >^-^< You are a good writer. I've read quite a few of your stories. The Fairy Fairy, Let's Do It Like This, and The ** and the Bad Boy are my favorites. Please write more for those, if you have the time. ~Ayame-chan >^-^ |
| Celyn 2005-11-14 ch 1, | "No my Lord, I, I," would be better written as "No my Lord, I, I..." Other than that, I can't see anything to pick holes in here. The only question I have is one of why he treats his pets so badly... most people who have pets tend to dote on them like the Lady does, and in fact you do have organisations which protect animal rights. Possibly Lord Lywatch is an exception rather than a rule? I'd also point out that thinking of humans as "filthy" and "stupid" indicates being brought up in freedom... exactly when was Flarilin captured and made a slave? I'd also want to know if this opinion extends to Lady Lywatch, seeing as how she's so much kinder to her "pets". But it's well-written and I want to see more of it, so good job. |
| eternalversifier 2005-11-13 ch 1, | Hello. I'm the type of person who critiques in a review instead of just saying "it was good" or "i didn't like it" so bear with me a bit here: First thing I noticed is your summery of the story started out all good and well, but near the end of it it seemed really confusing and almost turned me away from it. Now I'm a sucker for description and, just as a passing idea, what if you didn't just state that he's an elf, but make him scratch his pointed ears or just mention something like that; hint at it at first. I really liked this chapter. The idea is very original. Maybe a bit more descriptions to add a feel to the area they live in. I'm looking forwards to more. -+- Nanashi Naomi -+- |