nice conclusion. you broke away from the four-line stanza and ended it clearly, with a different idea that links the entire thing together. you have some great imagery, too, especially considering the entire poem is the same extended metaphor. it doesn't get boring at all. good job.

k8

love this! beautiful imagery *adds to faves*

The metre and rhythm were a bit off in the second stanza, but other than that it's not bad.

Keep at it.

-simpleton