This is very in your face. I would say it flows, but it more runs at you rapidly, unbelievable tempo, I guess would be the word.

Even without the formatting, the words themselves catch you, flitflitflit and then send you crashing back down. Lifted, dropped, pulled through this addiction. Good.

Well even if it isn't formatted the way you want I still like it. The short lines add something, but don't ask me what.

ANNA

im goin to have a look at ur website for the original way you wrote it - but it looks good already ) great work, keep it up.