FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| somefreakylooknchick 2005-12-08 ch 1,  | abuseabsolutely wonderful.And I'm not just saying that to suck up or for whatever reason people say such things and never mean it.I like how its centered and gets gradually larger. on to the my fav list it goes! |
| Daylily 2005-11-19 ch 1, | abuseHey cool. It's shaped like a shard of glass. |
| BlackDreamLily 2005-11-19 ch 1, | abuseWow! Brilliantly written! Love the formation! ^_^ |
| Kinna 2005-11-19 ch 1, | abuseThe imagery your words evoked was strong, and stuck in my mind even after I finished reading the words on the screen. It's ironic that the poem describes a person breaking while the words are building up into longer and longer lines. (But I guess it could also be seen as the isolation being built up in the person who was broken.) The thing that stuck most in my mind was the image and feel of the small pieces if glass. The only thing I would suggest is looking at the last line. "be hurt by your pain until we never bothered to notice it." The word "until" doesn't seem to fit to me. I think it would make more sense as 'and' instead, or something similar to that. Overall, this is a well-written poem though, and it's going on my favourites list. ^_^ |