Very good poem. It flowed very nicely. I like how you did it. The morbid angst tone in it was done well. Great work.

Wow. Very sad and powerful. The many repetitions give a haunting effect and make the message even stronger. The last line is a very strong point to end with, really powerful. What you say here, and in the whole poem, is so true. I like this poem/ song very much.

This piece was beautiful! I loved the way that it started and how you drew it to a conclusion. Sad in its... hopelessness, but lovely in its own way.

I loved these lines: "But maybe if I numb myself more/Maybe my dream will come true/Maybe if I hide my heart deeper/I'll keep it away from you/Away from you"

They were awesome!

Excellent work on this!

~*~AbunaiChikara