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| sporkofdoom 2006-12-01 ch 1,  | abuseThis is beautiful. The metaphor is fantastic. It's raw and powerful and I think I have to favorite this. |
| no.peace.los.angeles 2006-07-30 ch 1, | abuseOh God. This is perfect. I love your writing more than you could ever imagine. "onion-colored by moonlight" - WOW! That has got to be the most original and beautiful thing I have ever read. That whole stanza just does something to me. The feelings in this...oh, wow. I have to put this on my faves list. (Though it'll most likely be on my unsingable.name faves.) Keep writing! :) |
| addie pray 2006-03-10 ch 1, | abuseGorgeous, gorgeous imagery and voice in this. The diction is lovely. |
| beti213 2005-12-20 ch 1, | abuse"heaving across the freckled curves of skin that still breathed with his scent" wow. another amazing poem here. the only bit I didn't understand terribly well was the bit in parentheses-I couldn't figure out where it fit into the restof the poem. also, I'm going to be picky and say you could try a period after the "oh" instead of a comma, because otherwise, it flies out of notice of the reader too quickly. great piece, once more. |
| smile persephone 2005-12-16 ch 1, | abuseYour use of imagery is always impeccable. 'siren-steered' and 'mermaid-madness' ... I'm left speechless from that alone. And that ending -- your endings are always beautiful. |
| Chandra-Moon 2005-12-11 ch 1, | abuseVery interesting. I love the way you describe why you said no to him, and I loved the lines "formed of smoke colored red like my insides wehre he wasn't allowed/although, I figured, he had planned as his destination." It was almost funny, except it was so serious. Brilliant writing. Good job. |
| Aslan Israel 2005-12-03 ch 1, | abuseWow. Amazing writing, this is. I'm just speechless. I just love the thought at redemption, and forgivness never grows old. Just brillian. Brava. |
| not sure yet 2005-11-26 ch 1, | abusetowards the end i just this this expression on a girls face that's so, i cant even describe it, but when i see it it's so recognizable, muchly awesome poem here, love the imagery and the texture of it, im envious a bit of your ability to express such things in words so well, beautiful poem here |
| dollface and her cancer 2005-11-25 ch 1, | abuseA bittersweet taste of redemption; an unlikely fragment of hope. I love the stanza beginning with, "I was no virgin"; there are no pretenses to this poem, only an acceptance of what is. The ending lines are so dignified, so strong. Brilliant. |
| Kenishiro 2005-11-23 ch 1, | abusenice, surreal imaginative words, keep up the good work! |
| LadyAnesta 2005-11-23 ch 1, | abusethere is some wonderful imagery in this poem... i loved the "shadow tears" and "mermaid-madness"...a beautfully lyrically poem :Dgreat job. (and Happy Thanksgiving...if you celebrate thanksgiving :) if not, just Happy Day :D) |
| sixPAC 2005-11-23 ch 1, | abuseindepth, great description and interesting, nice one |
| SliversofSilverPain 2005-11-23 ch 1, | abusewow. cool. nice imagery, or interesting anyway. good use of new paragraphs to give it rhythm. i like it |
| Delphian-Angel 2005-11-23 ch 1, | abuseThis left me spell bound...it was so dark and riverting!~D.A~ |