Reviews for A Second Can Change A Lifetime

Reviews For: A Second Can Change A Lifetime

Le Soleil Avant le Crepuscu... 2005-12-04 ch 3,	abuseHeh heh, me again, this story also sounds like it will be very interesting, though I'm kinda confused as to how things went from normal, to using magic, to suddenly in some strange place with some guy they know. Oh well, please update!
Shantel Lukasik 2005-11-24 ch 2,	abuseMy friend decided he'd do Walker's profile, since he is the creator of the character. Height: 6'" Weight: 175 lbs (if in highschool; middle school = 148) Hair: Scraggly, falls to his low neck, dirty-blond with natural blond highlights. Sexy, though most girls don't notice him in the first place. Eyes: Emerald Green Build: Muscular for his age, though not overly so. Fit, though a tad bit round, only because of his internal organ size compared to his chest muscles. Tanned skin. Trademark: He's a poet and a writer. Somehow he persuaded the school staff to allow him to wear a hat, which he almost always wears (it's one reason why his attractive hair isn't seen as often as it could be). The hat is made of leather, with a type of strap with a buckle on the corner, and ruffled and worn through use. It's not ugly or nice, but kind of in between; in otherwords, mildly accepted. But to him it's a part of his body. Personality: Kind-hearted, helpful, optimistic, odd, wide-viewed, poetic, big-worded, open-minded. He's always willing to help out with a problem, even with a stranger. He literally repaired his neighbor's roof, on his own, in one day, and turned down the pay firmly. My friend is Matt a.k.a to fictionpress, Walker Pierce. Look him up.
GryffindorsQueen 2005-11-23 ch 2,	abuseI like it... although you need to add some more description. Like, what the class looks like, what the people look like, and that sort've stuff. Some people are quite visual when it comes to stories. Just a helpful hint.
Wildxillusions 2005-11-23 ch 2,	abuseGreat chapter but you are way to vague. Add more description! It's not that hard just think of the 5 senses and such it really helps. Also what's with the capital letter underlining thing?? Just use italixs it makes the piece of writing look much more formal. Oh and I also saw some spelling errors. Also just so ya know you don't need ot use a ',' after every quatoation. It could be... "You just noticed?" Walker grinned. Walker grinned is a sentence so you can go ahead and make it it's own sepeate thing. Other then that great story, like I've said quite original. Adios ~.^
Shantel Lukasik 2005-11-23 ch 1,	abuseDon't worry, its only the first chapter. You'll see where this is going.
narikaival 2005-11-23 ch 1,	abuseOkay then... This is a story I guess that's one of the only good things about it. Oh the dialogue's good too. The thing with this story is that there is really no telling where or when the setting is, what the characters are like or what direction the plot is going in. Try being more descriptive in your story and don't just put sentences like "Delia obeyed." How does Delia obey? What kind of person is Delia. Does she obey quickly or does she obey slowly? And why add the Shantel part? It doesn't really add to the story other than introduce a character we know nothing about. Is Shantel one of the 4 friends, is she an enemy or is she a random person you just decided to put in the story to add more dialogue and not as many descriptions. If this was a play it would be different but it's a story, it needs descriptions to let the reader expand on the story. Just in the next chapter please include more descriptions. Basically all I got from that story was there are 4 people that go into a portal, which was actually said in your plot description and a person named Shantel that has a Mom and went to sleep.
Wildxillusions 2005-11-23 ch 1,	abuseOh cool I like the whole idea with the writing the story and stuff that's quite original. Now first off you need more descritpion, explain more of the feeling going on. Make your characters more well-rounded. They are obvisouly experiencing a hard time and you need to show it. Remember your reader can't make up what your characters feel you have to tell the reader what to beelive. Great story I'll keep looking for updates adios ~.^

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