Just returning a review, since you reviewed one of my works. :)

I did like this, but I felt that the inconsistent rhyming kind of made it a bit choppy. I'm not one for rhyming, myself; it's nice if you can really master it, but often it just makes things awkward and sing-song-ish.

Other than that, I don't really find much, if any, faults. Like I said, it just doesn't flow all that well, but I think the content of the poem and some of the lines (such as "And to this day, I could never part / With her empty, loveless... / whisper.") are good. I think in those particular lines it would sound better if whisper was a part of the previous line (With her empty, loveless whisper), but that might not be how you intended it.

All in all, good work, I'm just picky. :P

Beautiful, and so heartwrenching at the same time. "I'm touching the darkness/ to hear your dead song" amazing line. Caught my eye automatically. Thank you so much for reviewing my work.

this poem was really haunting and i like the intensity of it! you choose words that somehow sound great together. Keep up the good work!

You have some great lines in this. The first couple especially pack quite a punch. I'm rarely a fan of poetry that rhymes purposely but that said, I think this is a good piece. I hope you post more poetry.

I love the way this rhymes and flows. So sad...

~dragonzz~

That was fucking awesome!LolWell doneReally well written peice.I enjoyed reading it very muchly!

Much LoveAshleigh

p.s Shine Brightly(although I think you already are)

very deep poem, painful. i love the last two lines...beautiful.

Ouch 0.0

Very deep. The emotion... very powerful. Lovely.

*::~Cat~::*

Lovely

i know you're gonna think i'm pathetic cos i didn't read your fiction stuff & i skipped right to the poetry but i'm slow and it would take me an eternity. there, my explanation & now onto the poem...this was really nice. i dont have too much to say about it, but it was good 'i'm touching the darkness/to hear your dead song' i like that. . . so many other really nice lines in this. it's good. : )

Amazing; expressing the pain, Wow.

i liked it alot. it has a lot of feeling...and you dont really find alot of guys with the talent of writing a good poem. keep up the good work. (oh...and if this isnt a guy...then im sorry lol it came off as being a guy. hehe)