Archipelago
2005-11-28
ch 1,  | abuseThis is actually pretty farn good. I'm surprised it didn't receive more reviews. The writing style is nice, just a tad confusing in some places. When you switch seems like from the front porch to in fornt of the computer put a little line between it. There were also spelling errors but those are easily remedied with a quick once over. One thing that bother me is that if they were seven when they made snow angels then how'd they act so darn mature, you know, besides the spy game they said things that seemed better suited to older kids like 12 or 13. It seemed a little rushed at the end but the ending was super cool/happy. Keep writing and great job. |
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