wonderful...i loved it.
i am very curious though, it seems as though there are a few places that you could fill in some holes, but perhaps that is the way you wanted it...either way, its really good.
i really like the word choice, it flows really well, as always i can picture the things you're writing about, so wonderful job as always

your prose is really good. not too cumbersome and with a confident voice. You could make some parts a little more lean. You need to take that last paragraph out, though. That's just you being too lazy to incorporate the punch-line into the actual story, and instead just giving it to us in the end in a very flat and unintersting way. You had my attention from beginig to end, though. But you can make the end a lot better.