The road. How I miss gentleness;

for some reason, I love that line.

obsessively observant. very much like an oil painting, but with multiple senses. Rich, textured, effectively formatted. Found the tone of it somewhat depressing, but I suppose that's the point. By the way, did you realize that your penname's initials are 'F.B.I.?' Or that it's difficult to refer to you by your penname without sounding insulting? [{'_-}Why is the blue ink *fake,* of all things? ~er, in an inquisitive mood today.

Wow, great imagery, and great concept. Well written too

loved this

hello!sorry i took so long to get back to you! this piece seems (somehow) very different from the prev piece(s?)...haha it's very noisy...all the sounds!and much more "animated"..i'm not crazy about the description of the weather aka 4th stanza but then i'm nvr crazy abt descriptions of weather in general.i liked the word choices..how the vehicles are "impetuous" and how the "baby..inhabits/A mother’s bosom"..i wouldnt have thought to use the word "inhabits" but it's terribly apt..also liked the consistency of the mood evoked.. the suggestion of menace--"vehement", "hiss", "gallows" etc..hmm in terms of painting a scene this is a successful piece..there is an impressionistic feel to the seemingly casual selection of images/sounds..but lines like "How I miss gentleness" hint at a more deliberate erm...intention..which pins the whole scene(??!) down.i might be over-reading. yepps do keep writing :D

Beautiful...I love the truth to your description and the unmistakeable attention to details. Your word choice makes the poem clear and understandable, but there is also something more there...something I can't quite place my finger on that gives everything a different sort of light. Keep writing.

I love your description in this. It brings a lot of humanity and nature together in a lot of ways, which I really like.

I also like the stanza about the little children. How noise is "theatrical, pounding and gasping."

I really need to keep up with your writing more.

i like the way you described the tyres and the roads. it's very raw and sharp and cutting, like an unsharpened blade. it's deliriously in-your-face, and with a metallic touch to it.

you make the inanimate seem alive, and the living seem like a mere backdrop.

"I am but an observer. The voices of leaves have been stolen"

i like this line, it says a lot.

much love.