Home Just In Communities Forums Beta Readers Dictionary Search Login Register Extras
Reviews For: the courtesan and the whore - Reviews: Page 1 of 2
she smolders 2008-09-20 . chapter 1
I really wasn't ready for the wave of emotion I felt after reading the last verse. The imagery was just gorgeous and oh so sad. Take care.
the.pink.life 2006-07-25 . chapter 1
Holy...Wow. That was amazing. I can't believe I hadn't reviewed this yet. I just found it in my inbox and was pretty excited to read it. Your alliteration in the first three lines makes me happy. :) I love alliteration, and with something like "sunset-shoulders"...m, I like.

"vanilla cigarette smoke" - I love love love this idea. I can actually TASTE it. It's delicious.

"sucked up in sequin's falling/off one by one like acid rain" - Wow, the imagery here is completely fantastic. Blown away.

And the way you end this..It's slick and sexy and I love it and am favoriting this. Gorgeous. Keep writing! :)
crinkled aster ribbon 2006-04-15 . chapter 1
heartbreaking and beautiful.

the imagery is amazing.

"sucked up in sequin's falling/off one by one like acid rain"

perfect.
mostly water 2006-02-17 . chapter 1
Christ, this is beautiful & excellent.

"I raise my skirt way pastthe horizon of my dignity"

I ** love it. =|
the naked civil servant 2006-01-14 . chapter 1
how surreal. i loved "i raise my skirt way past the horizon of my dignity" - it really conveyed desperation + wanting to please + measuring up and everything, but just missing that... glamour. beautiful.
The Watched 2006-01-10 . chapter 1
Every time I say this, it feels like it's losing a little bit of power, and yet it's always as true as the first time I said it: This is beautiful. Just that. It's melancholy and somehow light all at the same time; it's beautiful and raw, it's...It's quite amazing, to be honest. And I love the title. And the line "her cut-out-and-keep manicured hand".

Just one thing, though (and this could just be me reading it wrong) I think in the second stanza, "sequin's" should be "sequins"? Although I could just be misinterpreting it, I suppose.
reluctant writer 2006-01-09 . chapter 1
Great imagery in this. [I raise my skirt way past/ the horizon of my dignity] Very clever. Expecially the ending.
Written 2005-12-21 . chapter 1
so beautiful. speechless.
HellHeartedlyBent 2005-12-18 . chapter 1
so sad. you always have a way with words that make them seem so surreal. wonderful work.
twenty-second seduction 2005-12-10 . chapter 1
amazing.
London Jansen 2005-12-04 . chapter 1
that was probably the darkest/sexy piece of writing I've read this week.
Gilee7 2005-11-30 . chapter 1
-hush of heads spiralling to see- I'm pretty sure that "spiraling" should only have one 'l'.

There were so many lines that I love. The imagery was excellent and the descriptions magnificent. Some of my favorite lines:

--"dancing through the air/like the vanilla cigarette/smoke she breathes on Fridays" -- I usually think of cigarattes as dirty and disgusting and very unbecoming, but you made it seem beautiful and sexy and not nasty. Nice job.

--"I raise my skirt way past/the horizon of my dignity/and gulp down vodka and/packets of chewing gum/patching it up clumsily/with French perfume"-- Okay, I basically just pasted that whole second stanza, but I love all of those lines so much. Especially the skirt bit with the "horizon of my dignity." And French perfume totally makes me think of a **.

-"but you're already pushing myhead down,"- That's dirty. Oh at least I think it is. Maybe I just think way to sexually, but "**" IS in the summary.

This was a very good poem. It's been awhile since I've read any of your other ones, but I think this might be my favorite by you. As I said before, the imagery was astounding. The descriptions were unique and clever. I'm very impressed. Excellent job.
simpleplan13 2005-11-30 . chapter 1
awesome descriptions
account not in use 2005-11-29 . chapter 1
this hit me hard, a bit to close for comfort, biting my nails. amazing job.
Aquafied 2005-11-28 . chapter 1
thigh and a tantalising voicedancing through the airlike the vanilla cigarettesmoke she breathes on Fridays - i, love, that.ohh, vanilla cigarettes on friday, that is so beautiful. just, ahh. *envy*

great piece, the ending is the biter, but i must say, just totally feeling this one. in that metaphoric kind of way.
Return to Top