that is a gorgeous piece. so beautiful.
i loved the emotions you create with your words as well as the descriptions. you've painted a wonderful picture in my mind.


i would love honest opinions/feedback from a writer like you on my work. it would really mean a lot.

this is a fave for sure. anything with butterflies is just love. i love the way paper appears in this poem.. and the second stanza particularly is awesome. i can imagine her butterfly-thin voice shouting, and giving me paper cut shocks. wonderful.

and the ending is fantabulous.. only in dreams is she mine. heartbreaking, and a great ending.

this is so pretty and ethereal feeling... beautiful.

Simply amazing. There are no words. I just read this out loud, and it's just..it transcends the boundaries of time and space and just works. The images are perfect, your word choice is phenomenal, it's just sad and wonderful and I will never stop reading your work. Keep writing! :)

Chillingly beautiful. I love the imagery. Really, it's great. Lovely!

amazing :|

i'm pretty sure encase should be spelt incase. this is very dreamlike.

You did a great job of showing how this girl spiraled downward. You assosiated her with alot of delicate things, like a butterfly and tissue paper and then you moved towards the more risque things like vodka. I also love how you incorporated the black and white feathers. It's like peices of her are falling from the sky and your narrator is down there to catch them. And when she herself falls from the sky he will be there to reassemble her wings and make her begin traveling upwards.

I am going to stop ranting. Good job. Nice use of punctuation and I love the parentesis. It causes the reader to almost overlook the words. Especially in the last stanza where you are talking about putting her back together again. It provides a resinence so that the reader realizes that this isn't the first time that she's fallen downwards but she has in fact done this several times and the narrator will continue to be there for her.

I'm ranting again. I'm gonna stop analyzing your poem now and just say, nice work. Keep it up.

"but only in dreams/can i piece her back together/again. (and again)./only in dreams is she//mine."

I can see this girl--who is so beautiful in her brokenness, who exists as someone you can fix in your dreams--love only in your dreams. Beautiful writing.

wow that was **ign brilliant *calms self down* it was very good

loved the first two stanzas, and the imagery in this is so strong. its lovely

So beautiful beyond words. Angelic.

whimsical magical writing...you create intangible yet so imaginable images; 'paper-tears' and 'paper cut shocks'. I love the idea of crumpled hair and the inclusion of all the senses which just brings it closer and makes it all the more light and beautiful

I read this quite some time ago, but fictionpress had a glitch (or my computer had a another bitchfit, whichever) and haven't been able to review WHICH has been driving me crazy, because I love this. Especially the lines...

"paper cut shocks when she shouts."

and

"she's my falling fallen angel."

They snap the piece under your eyes and bring it into the hazy sort of half-focus that I love about your writing. This poem echoes, sort of, haunting. "I often find myself/picking up black/and white feathers/just in case" There is so much in that line that I could read into if I wanted, intentional or otherwise, and whether you meant it as a metaphor or not, it works.

your style is maturing so quickly. this was amazing, im putting this in the favorites list. very well done alliterations and the choice of words is simply sublime. ^_^ thank you for writing this.