Whoa! That was really interesting! Your descriptions were top notch! Such as how you had the characters describe each other with their dialogue rather than just stating, “He’s short and I’m tall.” It really made the story flow much easier! Also, I really liked how you inserted little bits throughout the beginning to get the reader ready for the part at the end, with all of the feelings and his enemy. It made it seem much more natural, when really it’s not very natural at all. I still can’t get over how easily it flowed! Where one thought left off another one picked right up!

It was really a great start! Happy writing!

wow! had me deep into it! but what happened to the friend!! when did Beam died?perfectly awesome...