Charlie is kind of a selfish airhead. She's worse than Georgia. Alex is kind of cute; so is Van. Charlie and Alex are cute together. Maybe you could have written about what happened when Van and Charlie finally hang out and all the drama that could possibly ensue from that event.

omg! this was thee best chapter ever! how can u jus not write anything after that? that's like the biggest cliffhanger in the history of literature! its an absolute no no. better continue or i'll come and beat you up which is right next door which wont be much of a problem. heh.

ok this is really sweet and moral, but totally mind blowingly unrealistic. I dont know- the way its written is quite strange too, as if it all spills out one after the other with no change in the pace. don't get me wrong; I think its a great idea, and you're right max does sound dreamy- but I just think it needs a bit more work to make it more realistic- because this story has alot of potentiel. Also your writing is still quite impressive the spelling and grammar is perfect- something i definately cant compete with!

Awesome story. Update soon!

An ice cream fridge eh? Well, that's a new one! lol Charlie is starting to sound overly mean though...she needs to redeem herself. Write more now!

o conflict! *giggles like a kindergarten..er* lol have you noticed your chapters are getting longer? hehe i want more van. give alex a make over. that would be tres interesting :)

update now! :)

Aw... Mr. Squashed Chcolate. Poor Kid. Wow, I like this. Please update. And soon. Yes. Please. :]

wow. the chocolate squishing was so metaphoric haha. make your chapters longer! i'm getting addicted. and van is a semi hot name now since you've made him a redhead.

xoxo

upHm, lookin’ good Max.

aw its really cute. you should have a second chapter where they're at the dance and alex becomes a total stud ]p

first and foremost i noticed that you totally bashed your writing in your profile. you dont have to love your writing. i dont. i really dont think mine's that great either. i used to bash it a lot. then a friend of mine who is an experienced author told me not to. she asked me to stop telling me about my stuff before i read it because i always gave her opinions. she said that she didnt want my opinions she wanted to form her own. let your readers form their own opinions. it'll make you feel more comfortable about your writing. this piece was super. your grammer and transitions were great and i loved it! thank you.-kae