really touched me

it's like your writing of a person i know

constructive criticism: spacing can be powerful

you can use it to help with the flow of the poem

Favorite line: "Your hair lit up like fluorescent fire." Just b/c it reminds me of the first line of "Amber Waves" by Tori Amos. I don't know why it does, but it does. This is pretty. And passionate. Nice work. Keep writing! :)

really capture the emotion in the words, very passionate. good approach!

Wicked good! Great descriptive does burn...

Gald to add my name to this list.

-Theatre des Vampires

just plain beautiful.

wow. this captured my heart. the words & images are beautiful and they burn (i suppose this was intended). i love this: "I wonder if you can hear hearts drop as/You walk by, as they fall towards/the ground." absolutely amazing.

wow! i love the imagry in write!:)

Woah. Very amazing. I have NO critism and I'm really not just saying that. I loved it.

i would give constructive critisism, but there's nothing to critique. just...wonderful. i love it.

WoW. full of vivid writing !

I really don't have any contructive critism. This is an amazing, well done poem. Everything flows perfectly.

And thank you for the review on my poem.

The ending was superb. This seems like such a powerful and yet delicate peice.

nice poem! it sounded very..um i cant explain it. its true and sounds real...does that make sense. this really good - one of the best poems i've read. lovely style.

pure poetry right here. i love this. best thing i've read lately.

Very good, vivid images and good phrasing and rhythmn