wow... trippy man really trippy opened my eyes! DUDE make it longer! i wanna here MORE!! love it... :) :) :) :)

That's sad! You should put it in tragedy, not horror. It's really good, though. You should post the rest of the story on here!

~Maranwe

Eek. It goes from terrifying to calm and then to something completely different that I'm not even sure what it's called. It's hard to go from three different themes so quickly, especially in a shorter piece. But you pulled it off fabulously. Wow. I love this!

Eek, creepy. Yes, I think it is horror-ish. Your descriptions of the blood and the liquid sent shivers down my spine. I like your descriptive phrases, like "frightening crimson" and "little pebbles rub against the tender skin" although, I just noticed, the word "rub" is repeated a few words over. Anyways, good job :)

Intense. Good work, very well written. Keep it up!